Long overdue..

Hey look! It’s not a song from Path post!

This is  one of those long overdue or whatever posts. I put most of my personal writing on hold after last fall, always using the excuse of, my writing comes from a personal space, and as of late, it’s hard to go to that personal space, it’s not a place I like to be at all.

But you know what? That’s an excuse. And it’s not even an accurate one, in the spring I wrote a play which dug pretty deep into my personal headspace, a completely different side, sure, but It was still fairly personal. And yeah, I was able to mask some of my relationship heartbreak by writing scenes after scene of women making jokes about vaginas (toned down from actual conversations, I assure you). All that aside, I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written.

My lack of writing really stems from me just.. well.. making excuses.  And… well.. Blah blah blah, I’ll keep a regular schedule or something along those lines..

Look, I don’t really know, recent life events have..  well..  happened. And not all necessarily bad.  I’ve started something that I feel is one of the most productive, creatively stimulating and, well, fun things I’ve ever done.  I’m saving the explanation for another post, for multiple reasons.

Last Monday’s news was difficult to swallow, and the cultural and personal impact has yet to fully sink in.. One day perhaps? I don’t know.  A few days later I found out something even more heartbreaking, because it was, real, or rather closer to home.  I know how I felt in November, I know how I feel right now, and learning of someone who at one point in time was, a friend, going through that.. It’s..

I started working for my family again. It’s something absolutely crazy, and tiring, and I really don’t have time to do it, but.. I’m enjoying it. In some kind of insane way, I missed restaurant work.. I feel like I’m fifteen again… which is weird because.. I never worked at the restaurant when I was fifteen..

The main reason I went back, honestly? Because my grandmother asked me to. And, maybe it’s guilt, maybe it’s nostalgia, or maybe it’s a sense of familiar surrounding.

But anyway, right now, more then ever, I feel like it’s the right place for me to be.

I don’t know what I hoped to accomplish with this.. I mostly wanted to see if I could write something coherent and personal.

I feel I was successful in maybe one of those categories. Hopefully it didn’t come off too clunky or.. well, terrible, but I feel like it was successful in one of those categories too.

 

 

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