The thing that amazes me, is now much my self worth seemed to have increased for a large number of my friends the second I was in a relationship. It’s like I suddenly became appealing again to a large number of my friends, as if everything accomplished in the time I wasn’t in a relationship was meaningless.
Although, some of the things I accomplished wouldn’t have been possible while in a relationship, in particular, my play that was performed would not have been as emotionally powerful had I not had my heart recently bashed in pieces.
Although to be fair, my first actual published work, a poem, well a sex poem, well… That came from a happier place..
But I don’t just write relationship stuff, (I prefer interpersonal communication), but, and I don’t mean to sound narcissistic, but I’m pretty good at exploring the complex intricacies of people and relationships and things, not really an understanding or anything, it definitely an exploration..
My first long formed published writing, a creative non-fiction piece, well, it was about my mom… And I’m super happy she got to see it.
I wrote a follow up.. But.. It’s.. It’s too soon, I can’t…
I also had to scrap planes for a hospital based play I was working on.. It was pretty good.. It’s just.. Not right now.
There’s another thing that’s kicking around in my head. And it’s.. Something difficult.. And I kind of.. Pushed it away, pushed it down..
Recently, my sister was picked for jury duty, which.. reawakened.. memories..
Basically I was a juror on a.. difficult trial.. On one of the final days I broke down in my car.. thankfully I was able to talk to my best friend, who was in Brazil at the time, and.. God love her, she was able to know what I needed to do, not knowing anything, and me not able to talk about it..
Anyway.. I kind of.. Pushed it away for a while. But.. Maybe it’s time to explore it again, just to get it out there..out of here as it is.