Just Write.

So, here we are again. Here, in this place of “KP, why have you left us?” Here in this abandoned blog of broken promises and abandoned concepts.

Why am I here again?

I certainly have more important matters to write.

As of now I have:

3 overdue school assignments

One Welcome Newsletter, or two I’m not really sure with my “boss” on this one…

Two overdue bios (maybe three?)

And, of course, my blog over at Solecisms, an overdue submission,  as well as various other writing projects (including the ones I like to do for fun, for ME!).

And drawing. I need to do that too.

SO why then, why, are we updating this blog, KP?

Well, like the title says, I just need to write. I need to write anything. I need to get that writing..thing.. going again. I need to get myself to make the words come out of my brain, through hands and on to the screen of my non-Lion-Capable-MacBook Pro no matter how hard I’m allowing my self to over think I’m not able to do it. That sentence didn’t make much sense, did it. Maybe because it was two sentences? Something like that.

But there’s really more to it than that.

I’ve spent the last couple of years strategically putting my life back together, into a semblance of something that I’d like a life to be, well as close as one can be without medication, or something. Where was this going? Right. Currently, I am in a good place, I’m a semester and a half away from my Associates. If I push myself another year I’ll have my Bachelors (Which I assume means they hand me a pipe and a smoking jacket with my Degree, right?).

And, yeah, I do make jokes all the time about how useless my degree in creative writing is, but, I shouldn’t, and I won’t anymore because in all honesty, I’m insanely proud of myself and didn’t ever see myself even close to this point when I started going to school (back to school, however you want to look at it..). I didn’t even know what I was doing. I did it because (well I was TOLD to) and it was something to do. I didn’t expect to find myself.

I completely rebuilt my friend base. I have opportunities I’ve always wanted. I have things waiting right in front of me.

And yet, I feel like I can’t reach them. I feel like I’m losing sight of everything. Unable to focus on anything. Unable to keep myself in line. Panicking.

 

But It’s completely unacceptable. Not now, not here, not when EVERYTHING is right in sight.

 

So, THIS, this is why I’m writing this blog. Because I need some accountability. I need to put it SOMEWHERE. I need it to be written in a place that is more permanent than a sticky note affixed to a notebook (or three). I need more eyes on me.

So, here it is.

 

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