and here’s a thing, part 2:

So, I’ve already posted this before, but, I got some really, really, REALLY nice feedback on it, and, well, I’m gong to share.

Here’s my original piece:

But you, as you are,

right now,

in all that you are,

can be so different,

so difficult.

so indecisive.

so stubborn.

so creative.

so amazing



You are so beautiful.

and, here’s selective bits of something I received about it:

“Here’s what I love about it: your fragments.  Your delicious fragments.  It’s part of what’s so wonderful about talking to you in person, actually.  Maybe I just enjoy how your conversational style slows me down, makes me pay attention, stop rushing… Your way of considering what you say before you say it… You have admitted you worry that’s awkward… but it’s actually endearing and beautiful.  That’s because it makes you look as if you’re so encompassed in a moment, that to be able to talk about it objectively, sum it up, offer commentary, would remove you from the moment, and you just can’t be bothered.  Does that make any sense?

That part of you, the hesitant but engaged, the feeling, but also communicating, part, comes across in the version in those fragmented lines”


“allows me to make this point: I want more graphic depiction of the sex.  Not just because I’m a pervert, either, though I won’t deny it, but because we want glimpses of what’s making you so sweetly nervous.”

– – and blush – –


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